Best & Worst Archives | Wonderland

So, which celebrity beauty products are actually worth the money?

Wonderland Staff — Wed, 31 Jul 2013 12:14:22 +0000

A new survey says that 52% of those who’ve bought celeb beauty spin-offs think they are “not good value for money”. We review the best and worst of celebrity cosmetics lines.

Trouble in endorsement-land. According to a survey of over 2,000 British women, 53 percent of respondents admitted to buying a product from a celebrity beauty line – but 52% repoted that these products were just “not good value for money”.

Of course, this won’t exactly stop people like One Direction from shilling their wares, but it does signal that people might be getting fed up with the relentless celebrity product mill. That doesn’t mean there aren’t lines that are worth your time, though – so to help cut through the dross, we run down the best and worst in star-endorsed beauty brands.

BEST

1. Iman… By Iman, obvs

One of the first ever celebrity beauty lines, and still one of the best. When Somali-born Iman first started in the industry, make-up artists struggled to find a shade to match her skin tone. But in 1994, she quit modeling and created Iman, a cosmetics line for black and Asian women that’s now worth millions. Bestsellers include the corrective concealer and the award-winning BB cream. If you generally struggle to find your shade in more mainstream cosmetics lines, you’ll probably find something here.

2. KORA Organics by Miranda Kerr

We’ve written before on Miranda Kerr’s eyebrow-raising beauty regime (vegan rice smoothie, anyone?) but there’s an easy way for people who’d like Kerr’s skin. Her all-natural skincare line uses certified organic ingredients like rosehip oil, aloe vera and the antioxidant-rich noni berry, and has been named one of the best Australian skincare brands in the prestigious 2013 Prix de Marie Claire beauty awards. Try the rosehip oil, which won the prize for Best Body Product in the same competition.

3. Dainty Doll by Nicola Roberts

OK, we admit it – we were sceptical too. The Girls Aloud false eyelashes by Eyelure might have surpassed our expectations, but it’s one thing to do a collaboration with an established make-up brand – it’s another to start your own line. But pale and interesting girls everywhere rave about Dainty Doll, which falls on the cheaper end of the spectrum and caters specifically for lighter skin tones. Best of all, it’s doing the rounds on discounted beauty sites like Fragrance Direct, which means you can pick up a bargain now.

WORST

1. Our Moment by One Direction

This perfume even comes with its own hashtag (#1DFragrance) – obviously all hallmarks of a high quality scent, no? It has hints of frangipani, wild berry and redcurrant, which basically means you’ll smell like a basket of berries rotting in tropical heat. Sadly, none of the boys have said they’ll actually wear the scent, which somewhat misses the point.

2. Kardashian Beauty by Kourtney, Kim and Khloe Kardashian

Initially called Khroma, this line was beset by legal problems from the start (the Kardashians were almost sued by another beauty line with a similar name). Now known as Kardashian Beauty, it’s got everything you expect – four mascaras, a lot of highlighters and tonnes of falsies. We consider this a missed opportunity, though: the three mixed-race women (they’re part-Armenian on their dad’s side) and they could have done a range that thoughtfully tackles the problems mixed-race girls face when trying to buy make-up suitable for their unique colouring. Instead, we get a range full of glittery Valley Girl highlighter.

3. Sevin Nyne by Lindsay Lohan

Launched in 2009, Lohan’s tanning range immediately ran into problems. Namely, she was accused of stealing the chemical formula for her spray sunless tan. But given Lindsay’s somewhat erratic relationship with tan consistency, you’ll forgive us if we don’t immediately jump on the Sevin Nyne train. And also: what the fuck is up with its name? It sounds like a third-rate assassin from Game of Thrones.

Words: Zing Tsjeng (Follow Zing on Twitter @misszing)

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Best and Worst Dressed At The Met Gala

Wonderland Staff — Tue, 07 May 2013 10:55:20 +0000

Kim Kardashian, Cara Delevingne and Madonna’s fashion choices rated on a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being Johnny Rotten spewing expletives on a loop, forever.

BEST

1. CARA DELEVINGNE

It’s a nice Burberry dress, but you know what’s truly qualifies as punk in this media-obsessed age? Turning up and facing the paparazzi despite having been photographed a few days earlier with a baggie of “mysterious white powder” falling out of your bag. Anyone else would have issued an apology and spinelessly locked themselves in rehab to wait out the media storm. Cara Delevingne, we salute you.

Punk as fuck rating: More punk than Nancy Spungen throwing a chair out of a window at the Chelsea Hotel

2. KIM KARDASHIAN

Let’s say you’re Kim K, pregnant with your first child. For the past few months, people have been ripping it out of you for being too fat – even accusing you of gaining weight to land a diet endorsement deal. What do you do? Hide in Kanye’s mansion and cry into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s? Nope. You wear a bizarre gloved dress from Givenchy to one of the most high-profile social events of the year and you hold your head high. Punk has always been about ignoring the haters, so in this sense, Kim has truly succeeded. (Still not a fan of those gloves, though.)

Punk as fuck rating: More punk than the Sex Pistols squaring up to a disgusted Bill Grundy during a TV interview (and winning)

3. DONATELLA VERSACE

How could we forget Donatella? After all, this is the designer who admitted “my face is not like this naturally“; the businesswoman who was addicted to coke while running the Versace empire; the icon who inspired her own Saturday Night Live impression. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who defied the naysayers like Donatella did – and all the while looking like the bestest, most gloriously tacky Miami Vice version of a fashion designer ever. Looking ridic while being slyly successful – it’s the punk way.

Punk as fuck rating: More punk than Debbie Harry bleaching her hair in a sink at CBGB’s

4. MILEY CYRUS

Miley: navigating the awkward post-Disney stage of her career by not giving a fuck what anyone thinks. Also one of the best outfits of the night purely because she actually has punk hair, as opposed to that weird sidebraid that people like Miranda Kerr used to give the impression of a shaved head. Come on ladies, show some commitment.

Punk as fuck rating: More punk than early NOFX, pre-Reading Festival headliner days

WORST

1. BEYONCE

Don’t get us wrong, we love Beyoncé. Beyoncé can look fierce. She can look glam. But bless her, Beyonce couldn’t be less punk than if she’d turned up in an H&M kaftan singing an acapella version of Cater 2 U. She’s worn shellac nails that are probably harder than she is. Also, why has every American somehow interpreted red carpet gloves as being ‘punk’?

Punk as fuck rating: About as punk as your little sister’s Black Flag t-shirt from Urban Outfitters

2. MADONNA

There’s paying a sly, subtle homage to a costume theme, and then there’s Madonna.

Punk as fuck rating: About as punk as the matinee performance of Green Day’s stage musical

3. ROONEY MARA

We adore the Givenchy dress, but we always feel as if Rooney Mara has been beamed in from an alternate dimension where Gattaca really happened and all the men only wear Dior Homme AW13. You get the feeling that if a single hair on her head was moved, she’d probably stab someone with a zipper.

Punk as fuck rating: About as punk as Nancy Regan in a Laura Ashley cardigan trying to ban Prince

4. NICOLE RITCHIE

A special Fraggle Rock interpretation of The Snow Queen.

Punk as fuck rating: About as punk as a lounge cover of Guns of Brixton

Words: Zing Tsjeng (Follow Zing on Twitter @misszing)

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BEST AND WORST: Girls Aloud fashion moments

Wonderland Staff — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:12:15 +0000

We’re sobbing to the Sound of the Underground. We’ve got no Chemistry left. Yes, it’s the end of Girls Aloud, Britain’s longest-serving, longest-suffering (thanks, Cheryl Cole’s solo career) and most Northern girlband. To commemorate their demise, we take a look at their best and worst moments in fashion – from the glorious heights to the faux pas lows.

1. The Popstars: The Rivals years

You know how crop tops are, like, soooo in at the moment? Just remember that at one point in time during the early 2000s, so was velour. And backless halter-neck tops. Also, a shade of pink that was so sickly that it looked like something your pet cat might vom up after eating some candyfloss.

But enough bitter fashion sniping – look at those expressions of innocence and hope on their post-Popstars faces! Nine years later, Kimberly would be singing in Shrek; Cheryl would have invented a dance move called ‘the sex crab‘; Sarah went to rehab; Nadine’s fake Twitter became more popular than she was; and Nicola got veneers. And today, in 2013, they announced the band splitting via Twitter. Life leads you down strange paths, huh?

2. The Ibiza bargirl look

Call us armchair sociologists, but we think the fashion trajectory of Girls Aloud perfectly mirrors the British obsession with self-tanning. We don’t have an exact date for this photograph, but we’re fairly sure the first time Girls Aloud appeared looking like Peter Andre’s backing dancers rubbed in a mixture of baby oil and dirt coincides with the launch of Ryanair’s £15 sale to Mallorca.

3. The Carry On, Schoolgirl outfits

This looks like it was designed by a 15-year-old called Gary who lives in Slough. Then someone said, “Gary, you need to jazz this up a bit – these girls are pop stars!” So Gary decided to throw in some lovely red glitter trim he bought from the art supplies sale in WHSmith. No wonder Sarah Harding’s trying to strangle herself.

4. “We’re just like you, promise!”

Remember when pop stars dressed like real people? Once upon a time, it was necessary for their clothes to bear some relation to what real people wore to maintain some semblance of likeability – none of this Nicki Minaj ‘I’m going to stick a shoe on my head and pad my bum’ stuff. Here, the girls look like they just stepped out to Tesco Express for a few bottles of rosé and a pack of Nik Naks, before going back to Chezza’s to dance around to Craig David remixes. Adorable.

5. Cheryl hints at her solo career – through FASHION

Was this the beginning of the end for Girls Aloud? All the girls have totally committed to the ‘purple fantasia’ theme – Sarah, in particular, appears to be channeling a phone saleswoman from the planet Kang – but Cheryl turned up to this Samsung launch in a sleek LBD. That smile seems especially disingenuous, kind of like “laugh all you want, bitches, but I’ve got Simon Cowell on speed-dial and we’re going to dinner at Nobu later”.

6. The Showgirls era

We’re not going to lie – the period between albums Tangled Up and Out Of Control is our favourite period in Girls Aloud fashion. First there were the loony deconstructed Marie Antoinette bodices in ‘Can’t Speak French’. Obviously a homage to Madonna’s infamous Vogue performance at the MTV Awards – except ten times sluttier. Love it. Then there was the big-haired retro glam of The Promise, which finally climaxed in their live show costumes, where they looked like something a pearl oyster might spit out after approximately 1000 years.

7. Goodbye and good luck, ladies

Here the girls are, resplendent in chrome-plated armour on the final leg of their last ever tour. Not that we knew it was their last ever ever show at the time, though – foolishly, we all secretly hoped that 2013 would be the year that Xenomania resurrected itself and Britain became a pop hits factory once more. (One Direction excepted, but they don’t dance, so it doesn’t really count.)

The UK doesn’t produce glamorous pop showponies like Girls Aloud too often – remember, their immediate predecessors were All Saints and (the original) Sugababes, two bands whose fashion choices sometimes put the “ugh” in “urban”. Girls Aloud were glossy blowdries, glitter and massive choruses all rolled into one. What happens next? Little Mix? Stooshe? Cheryl’s solo career? Whatever. Until either of them turn out a song remotely approaching the greatness of Sound of the Underground, there’ll only be one Girls Aloud.

RIP.

Words: Zing Tsjeng

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BEST & WORST: Unexpected musical collaborations

Wonderland Staff — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 14:12:59 +0000

Lady Gaga singing the chorus on Kendrick Lamar’s Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe demo – how could the two ever go together? But have a listen: it’s like sense smacks you in the face saying, “How could you ever doubt me?” So in honour of leftfield musical pairings, we run down our best and worst of unexpected collabs.

BEST

1. Lady Gaga ft Beyonce – Telephone

Gaga has a bit of a talent for spotting potential collab opportunities, and this one is a no-brainer. Both artists might be from two completely different ends of the music spectrum, but somehow the queen of pop and the queen of RnB find a Jeff Koons-esque, bubblegum-bright middle ground that displayed both their strengths and gained Beyonce some Gaga followers (and vice versa).

2. Connor Maynard ft Ne-Yo – Turn Around

Hitmaker Ne-Yo seems to have a knack for always guaranteeing a spot in the number one slot, but this bewildering collaboration initially left people uncertain – but in our opinion, it’s one of the best UK summer songs (well, as summer-y as Britain gets).

3. Katy Perry ft Kanye West – ET

It’s almost unfathomable to imagine what kind of melody results from Katy Perry and Kanye West sitting in a studio together. But by tying the alien idea into a far-out E.T. concept, something pretty out of this space happens.

WORST

1. Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj – Beauty And A Beat

Your initial reaction: “Why is this happening? Why is this HAPPENING?” And sure enough, after listening to the song you discover it’s perfectly fine with only Justin Bieber on the track – but then it’s promptly ruined by a sub-Daft Punk breakdown, their random pointless grinding at 3:26 and Nicki’s pink meringue outfit.

2. The Jonas Brothers ft Common – Don’t Charge Me For The Crime

This is one of those songs that nobody knows about, because its existence doesn’t make sense – the song isn’t bad, but it’s not good, and it’s just plain odd. Common rapping about the death of the American dream, combined with the Jonas Brothers’ doing their best Mick Jagger impressions: just incredibly awkward.

3. David Bowie & Mick Jagger – Dancing In The Street

Dancing On The Street is one of those unforgettable music videos that people either loved, or shunned as soon as they saw it – even Family Guy poked fun of it for being the most unnecessary collaborations in music history. It’s a funny video nonetheless and the song is dreadfully catchy, but I’m sure we could all do without. Cheers, Mick and David.

Words: Tracy Kiryango

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BEST & WORST: NSFW music videos

Wonderland Staff — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:08:55 +0000

After Daniel Bedingfield strips down naked in his new video Secret Fear and flashed us a very NSFW look at his penis, the Internet’s been abuzz over what nudity is acceptable in music vids, and what isn’t. For Bedingfield’s benefit, we’ve found some of the best and worst NSFW videos to learn from.

BEST

1. Christina Aguilera, Dirty (2002)

It’s almost shocking looking back at this video, especially since it used to be played in the daytime television – but who doesn’t Even though she is surrounded by numerous sweaty half naked men, Christina’s lack of an outfit seems to be covering so much, but still managing to show way more than you need to see.

2. Kelly Rowland, Lay It On Me (2011)

Here’s Kelly playing with a Slinky; here’s a guy who (possibly) has a hard-on; some very dodgy foot worship – with all that inneundo, Rowland piles on a large elephant to hammer home the point. On the other hand, who wouldn’t love sitting on a chair made of roughly 10 live male bodies?

3. Ciara ft. Justin Timberlake, Love Sex Magic (2009)

This video is the perfect combination of moderate nudity and sexy dancing without being way too much for viewers to handle. Yes, we just put the words “moderate” and “nudity” together. Ciara keeps it class by sticking to the rules of no more than two areas of skin showing. If her stomach and a little bit of cleavage are out her legs are covered, to avoid way too much flesh being exposed.

WORST

1. D’Angelo, Untitled (2000)

Even though the camera stops just at the right point to avoid seeing actual penis, zooming in on a nude man touching himself up gets pretty awkward if you’re watching a friend or a family member. Initially hailed as a triumph of the female gaze, this video loses its sex appeal pretty fast once you consider that D’Angelo suffered a nervous breakdown as a result of the vid.

2. Ne-Yo, Lazy Love (2012)

Ne-Yo’s already known for having raunchy videos but this is probably his most inappropriate one to date. The general interpretation of lazy love is eating junk food in bed with your loved one for an entire day while watching Great British Bake-Off reruns. Thanks for ruining that illusion, Ne-Yo.

3. Raindrops, Jeremih (2009)

It’s very hard to make videos with strippers and poles tasteful (remember Showgirls, that bastion of good taste?), but this was clearly not one of those attempts. Jeremih took this one a little bit to far, which is probably why this video can’t be found on his own YouTube anymore.

Words: Tracy Kiryango

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BEST & WORST: James Bond moments

Wonderland Staff — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 11:29:44 +0000

With Skyfall making its debut tomorrow, we round up the best and worst moments in the James Bond franchise. Warning: features parachute surfing, gondola hovercrafts and Sean Connery’s best lines ever.

BEST

We’ve tried eschewing the typical “girls, guns and car chases” that traditionally make 007 great and focus on less conventional standout moments of the Bond empire. And no, it’s not just Daniel Craig in swimwear.

1. Sean Connery in pretty much everything

There’s a reason why Connery is considered the best Bond by some. Even while meeting ludicrously named women (Plenty O’Toole, anyone?) or delivering Carry On-esque one-liners, Connery manages to rise about the waft of cheese to ooze sheer unadulterated sex appeal. Gravelly-voiced Scotsmen never go out of style, it seems.

2. James Bond leaps into the 21st century with Casino Royale

After the runaway success of Jason Bourne, the 007 franchise was challenged to produce a meaner, leaner Bond – and when Daniel Craig was cast, the naysayers came out. A beta-male blond Bond in tiny swim shorts? No thanks. Thank god Daniel Craig bulked up and delivered. He comes off as the athletic, physically-trained super spy Bond is meant to be – even if he is wearing a tropical shirt.

3. The Queen finally meets her most loyal subject

OK, so this isn’t actually in a James Bond film. But after years of whispers that the franchise was dead in the water, this was one way to very visibling that Bond wasn’t dead: by having him pop up in the most-watched Olympic ceremony of all time. Plus, you know, corgis.

WORST

It’s worth remembering that James Bond wasn’t always the sleek, efficient killer played by Daniel Craig. In fact, watch any Bond film back and you’re sure to find cringeworthy scenes like the ones below. Just embrace the cheese – America may have Jason Bourne, but we’ll always have Pierce Brosnan parachute surfing over icebergs.

1. The gondola hovercraft in Moonraker

When you’re planning your next 007 marathon, you might want to skip over Moonraker, Roger Moore’s fourth outing in the Bond franchise. While most older Bond films will inevitably jar thanks to a combination of vintage sexism, shoddy special effects and ill-judged racism (Odd-Job, anyone?), Moonraker is just objectively awful. Even the most capable 21st century FX team could not make a gondola hovercraft look cool.

2. Pierce Brosnan surfs a tsunami in Die Another Day

James Bond is meant to be the epitome of a cool, suave killing machine. You know what’s not cool? Parachute surfing. It’s parachute jumping for cowards and gap year tourists on overcrowded Thai beaches.

3. Kananga’s death in Live And Let Die

Live And Let Die was a very weird Bond movie: less secret agent spy fun and more blaxploitation tribute that wound up being, well, a little bit racist – especially considering its hero wasn’t Pam Grier and was actually a white Englishman. (Come on, one of the cars in it is called a “pimpmobile”.) But in terms of sheer ludicrousness, nothing beats main villain Kananga’s death scene. Instead of a satisfying dismemberment or a quip-filled shoot-out, Bond forces him to swallow a shark gun pellet, whereupon Kananga literally balloons and then explodes. What?

Skyfall comes out on Friday. www.skyfall-movie.com

Words: Zing Tsjeng

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BEST & WORST: Things about Girls

Wonderland Staff — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 15:19:00 +0000

Finally, Girls is hitting UK shores and we can talk about it like we hadn’t already watched it online six months ago. To anyone who’s new to the series, welcome! We round up the best and worst things about the show. Clips contain (some) spoilers.

BEST

1. Real talk about STIs and sex

When you’re in your twenties, sex is something you think you should be enjoying but you’re probably not. This is because sex in your twenties is an odyssey through uncharted waters of awkwardness and sexual discovery. Unfortunately, Hollywood has fed you lies about what it means to be young. Trust us, your sex life in your twenties will not involve topless road trips or writing the Great American Novel. Luckily, Girls is here to feed you a big dose of unvarnished, HPV-ridden realness. Also, sometimes you find out your ex-boyfriends are gay. It’s OK, this should hopefully stop happening once you turn thirty.

2. Shoshanna, the uptight virgin

One of the main tropes of coming-of-age films and TV shows is that there is always (always) a nerdy virgin. If they’re a boy, they’re always the one you end up rooting for (think American Pie). If they’re a girl, well, woe betide them, because girl virgins are almost always uptight, frigid weirdos on film – the kind of girls who exist for the sake of a bad punchline and a good dose of public shaming. Shoshanna is a triumph for virgins everywhere: yeah, she may sort of conform to the “uptight virgin” stereotype, but she’s also arguably the funniest and most lovable character on Girls. We love her, accidental crack habit and all.

3. 21st century BFF-ship

Not that we hate on Sex & The City, but the entire idea of “ladies who lunch in Manhattan and talk about sex toys” is a bit passe, no? Especially given that in this economic climate, who can really afford to lunch in Manhattan? Girls isn’t as super-luxe and aspirational as SATC, but it offers up a way more realistic and down-at-heel look at friendship. And for once, it’s refreshing to see a portrayal of female friendship that isn’t undermined by romantic competition or envy.

WORST

1. The unbearable whiteness of being Girls

Dunham came under fire for her cast’s lack of diversity, but we say – just wait till Episode 7 and a Latino girl called Tako (Roberta Colindrez) shows up! For double points, she’s also a lesbian. For triple points, La Roux is playing in the scene. You would never get this kind of sexual and ethnic diversity on another HBO show (other than The Wire)! In all seriousness though, Dunham has promised to rectify the situation and has accordingly cast Community star Donald Glover in the next season.

2. How do you solve a problem like Jessa?

The manic pixie dream girl on a gap year from life? On paper, Jessa is a great idea – but something just doesn’t feel right about her character. Is it the bizarro transatlantic accent, which reaches Mischa-Barton-in-St-Trinians levels of weirdness? Is it the parade of boho-circa-2004 flopping hats and peasant skirts? Or is it because Jessa is the equivalent of your rich friend from boarding school who sits around smoking weed and complaining about how getting a job right now is sooo difficult? Who. Knows. Either way, she needs a personality update.

3. We need a resolution

This scene was probably the hottest scene in the entire series and they didn’t do anything with the Jonathan Booth storyline afterwards. Why not? Come on, Dunham. Awkward sex is great and all, but every show needs some kind of actual sexual tension.

Girls starts on Sky Atlantic on Monday, 21 October. www.mistakesgirlsmake.co.uk

Words: Zing Tsjeng

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BEST & WORST: Biopic performances

Wonderland Staff — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 16:38:15 +0000

Filming is well underway on a new movie about Princess Diana, with Naomi Watts heading the cast. She seems to be pulling off the blonde bouffant and 90s chic pretty well, although there’s a definite hint of Camilla Parker Bowles in the photographs that surfaced today. All a bit awkward. In biopic anticipation, we’ve rounded up the best and worst performances in the genre.

BEST:

(1) Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady, 2011

Streep cleaned up at the award ceremonies for this unflinching portrayal of Margaret Thatcher, picking up the BAFTA, Oscar and Golden Globe for Best Actress. Thanks to meticulous research, she nailed the voice and gestures from the start and even manages to paint a likeable portrait. So don’t be surprised if you’re left thinking: “So what if she snatched the milk?”

(2) Sean Penn in Milk, 2008

Talking of milk, Sean Penn totally convinces as the first openly gay politician elected into power. He mastered the role without resorting to stereotypes, and it won him a second Academy award. There’s even a rumour that the ghost of Milk himself was enjoying the filming from an on-set sofa. If that’s not a flattering endorsement then we don’t know what is.

(3) Charlize Theron in Monster, 2003

You’d be forgiven if you didn’t recognise Charlize playing infamous serial killer Aillen Wuornos. She gained weight and wore heavy makeup to achieve a likeness, and that transformation wasn’t just physical. She adopted killer’s persona with disturbing realness, playing cold-hearted killer and generous lover all at once. Difficult but rewarding stuff.

WORST:

(1) Diana Ross in Lady Sings the Blues, 1972

What do you get when Diana Ross pretends to be a drug addict? Billie Holiday, apparently. It’s not that she was bad – she got nominated for an Oscar for her performance – but she didn’t look or sound anything like the first lady of jazz. Lessons learned: Diana Ross is best as Diana Ross. Putting a white flower in your hair doesn’t make you Billie Holiday.

(2) Colin Farrell in Alexander, 2004

A lot of things come to mind with the name Alexander the Great. Blonde highlights and a Dublin accent generally don’t. Nevertheless, Colin Farrell managed to bring both to the role in Oliver Stone’s historically inaccurate Alexander. Inhabiting the vein of bio-epics like King Arthur and Troy, the movie continues to enrage historians and critics alike – probably not the sort of legacy that was intended for it.

(3) Robert Pattinson in Little Ashes, 2008

Robbed of his fangs and handed a parade of bad wigs and moustaches, R-Pattz just doesn’t convince as tortured genius Salvador Dali. Little Ashes sells itself as a hard-hitting drama, but unfortunately it garnered most attention from squealing Twihards who want to see Edward Cullen getting naked and kissing boys.

Words: Mark Izatt

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BEST& WORST: Celeb name changes

Wonderland Staff — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 16:25:21 +0000

First he was Calvin Cordozar Broadus Junior, then Snoop Doggy Dog, and eventually just Snoop Dogg. But now the Dogg has decided on a new spirit animal and released his first single as Snoop Lion. To celebrate his new direction, Wonderland count down the best and worst celebrity name changes.

THE BEST:

(1) Norma Jeane Mortenson to Marilyn Monroe

Where would we be without our beloved Marilyn Monroe? Norma Jeane sounds more like she’d be serving us coffee than playing sultry Hollywood leads and becoming the world’s biggest sex symbol.

(2) Prince to

Prince’s crafty 1993 name change to the ‘love symbol’ in order to escape record company tyrannywas a stroke of genius. OK, so it’s unpronounceable, but it’s hard not to cheer him on for out-smarting the big dogs at Warner Bros.

(3) Orpah to Oprah

If she hadn’t given her name that all-important little tweak, Oprah just might not have changed the face of television and become the unassailable queen of the American talk show. ‘Orpah’ sounds more like a brand of foot cream

WORST:

(1) Katie Holmes to Kate Holmes

Tom Cruise insisted on this name change for his ex-wife because “Katie is a young girl’s name. Her name is Kate now – she’s a child-bearing woman”. It looks like someone didn’t get the memo (the momentous, world-changing feminism memo). Fortunately this one didn’t catch on. She’s always Katie to us.

(2) Ol’ Dirty Bastard to Big Baby Jesus

A founding member of Wu-Tang Clan, the rapper born Russel Tyrone Jones has had more aliases than anyone else on this list, but the progression from Ol’ Dirty bastard to Big Baby Jesus is the most befuddling and arbitrary one that he underwent. Was it insane genius? A lengthy criminal record suggests maybe not.

(3) Thomas Cruise Mapother IV to Tom Cruise

Scientology strikes again! There’s something bizarrely regal about Tom Cruise’s original name that just fits better with his status as a Scientologist megastar. All hail Mapother the IV and Christian Science (if you’ve got the cash and the magic password).

Words: Mark Izatt

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BEST & WORST: Batman scenes

Wonderland Staff — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 13:01:56 +0000

With the final installment of The Dark Knight trilogy out this weekend and IMAX tickets selling for up to £75 online, there’s never been a better time to be a fan of the Bat. But we have two words for you: batsuit nipples. Wonderland racks up the best and worst of the Batman franchise.

Best

(1) Heath Ledger as the Joker, The Dark Knight

How often did you hear people go around saying “Can I show you a magic trick?” after this film came out? Regardless, it’s possibly the best introduction to a villain in the Batman series ever.

(2) Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman, Batman Returns

If you want someone to thank for fashion’s obsession with PVC and bondage, thank Tim Burton for introducing it the world via Michelle Pfeiffer. Anne Hathaway has a lot to live up to.

(3) “Where are you?”, Batman Begins

There was once a time people thought Christopher Nolan was crazy for taking over Batman, the poisoned chalice of superhero films. But he transformed the cheesefest franchise into something altogether more menacing – as this clip shows.

WORST

(1) Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze, Batman & Robin

Watch this clip and then say to yourself: “This man was voted the Governor of California.” Repeat this to yourself till it all makes sense. (It won’t.)

(2) Christian Bale’s voice, The Dark Knight

“Someone with bronchitis gargling through a mouthful of tar” just about covers it.

(3) George Clooney’s Batcredit card, Batman & Robin

Remember when George Clooney was seen as deeply, deeply uncool because of Joel Schumacher scenes like this? Clooney probably wouldn’t want you to. But we do, George. We do.

Words: Zing Tsjeng

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