{"id":32895,"date":"2014-07-07T09:00:57","date_gmt":"2014-07-07T09:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wonderlandmagazine.com\/?p=32895"},"modified":"2014-07-07T14:27:33","modified_gmt":"2014-07-07T14:27:33","slug":"belong-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wonderlandmagazine.com\/2014\/07\/07\/belong-together\/","title":{"rendered":"We Belong Together"},"content":{"rendered":"

Four of alt. culture\u2019s most influential met to discuss global female empowerment and good old fashion porno in a post-Miley, post-Dunham world<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

\"Phoebe<\/a><\/p>\n

Phoebe, Karley and I met for the first time in Milan several years ago, when we were less blonde, more fat and Petra was still in diapers. We\u2019ve collaborated with each other overseas but this is the first time we\u2019re all together in Petra\u2019s apartment in NYC (because hers has a stripper pole). It\u2019s an important moment, like when Geri left the Spice Girls.<\/p>\n

Karley Sciortino is the brilliant brain behind sex and youth culture blog, Slutever. She\u2019s written and made videos for magazines like Purple, Vice and NY Times and interviewed your favourite porn stars. She\u2019s currently writing a lifestyle column called \u201cBreathless\u201d for Vogue, featuring the best faux-photobooth selfies you\u2019ve ever seen. Phoebe Collings- James hates when people mention her looks before her work, but she\u2019s so beautiful you don\u2019t want your boyfriend to see pictures of her until you have to tell him that story of when you bought hair extensions in London and saw her face on the package. She could be a supermodel but instead she\u2019s a successful artist, using sculpture, illustration, performance, video and mixed media to provoke viewers into existential crisis. You can find her blogging on (female empowerment-related news site, CUNT TODAY) between exhibitions and probably fighting crime at night. Petra Collins is the new \u201cit girl\u201d of photography, if \u201cit\u201d stands for \u201cincredibly talented.\u201d She recently gained fame for the menstruating vagina t-shirt she snapped for and a self-portrait featuring pubic hair which caused worldwide hysteria, but mostly she\u2019s known for taking photographs that make you wish you could go back in time and attend whatever high school exists in her mind. I\u2019m Tea Hacic-Vlahovic, known as \u201cSugar Tits\u201d on Tumblr, the columnist for Vice and Wired Italy who makes too many fart jokes and an above-average Tweeter, according to my mom.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re all from different countries, work in various fields and have paved our individual paths as creative women, despite obstacles like the glass ceiling or a gluten-free diet in Italy. We thought it would be interesting to see if our cultural differences get in the way of agreeing on important issues, like\u00a0hashtags and pop stars.<\/p>\n

\"Phoebe<\/a><\/p>\n

\n
\n

Tea:<\/strong> Have y\u2019all seen Gaga\u2019s new video [March\u2019s G.U.Y.]?<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> There\u2019s a new one?<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> It got millions of views the first night and half were mine. She\u2019s the only celeb I\u2019m jealous of after Rihanna.<\/p>\n

Phoebe:<\/strong> Rihanna is incredible because she just has fun and doesn\u2019t give a fuck. She also talks about sex and why girls should use condoms. She doesn\u2019t beat around the bush, she\u2019s like, make sure you\u2019re respecting yourself and having a good time but also be protected.<\/p>\n

Karley:<\/strong> Without being like, \u201cwait for the right person!\u201d I think we all know to be safe but we\u2019ve all been like, \u201cfuck, I forgot again.\u201d<\/p>\n

P: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever done that sober.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever had sex sober! Unprotected sex\u00a0is like drunk-eating: \u201cI\u2019m going to hate myself tomorrow but I don\u2019t care, ha, ha!\u201d I\u2019m always worried I have some disease, regardless of getting tested.<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> Sexually successful women should worry about that! There aren\u2019t enough good sexual role models like Rihanna.<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> There aren\u2019t! Listen to her lyrics compared to any- one else\u2019s. She says, \u201cI love it, I love it, I love it when you eat it\u201d over and over again.\u00a0I made a piece dedicated to that for my solo exhibition.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> What about Miley Cyrus? People got so upset with her but don\u2019t they know that\u2019s how everyone dances at clubs? I think it\u2019s because Robin Thicke is so offensive.\u00a0If she\u2019d bent over for Pharrell the reactions would have been different.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

T:<\/strong> He\u2019s so offensive yet she got the backlash. You never hear people asking if male artists are good role models for slapping butts in music videos.<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> I\u2019m writing an article about compulsive sexual behavior and talking to this psychologist about how the media never shows hypersexual women having happy endings. The slutty character in movies always gets punished. She either gets murdered, raped or ends up alone. The harlot is never the hero.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> And that often proves to be true. Like the Duke porn star who got ousted by another student and responded by writing eloquent letters about why she\u2019s empowered by\u00a0sex work and how it\u2019s unfair that people watch \u201ccollege girl\u201d porn but don\u2019t want those girls in college. She had to drop out because she was getting death and rape threats.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> I participated in a talk recently about Page Three,\u00a0to discuss if it should exist. A woman on the panel teaches preteen boys and asked them about the girl in an issue and they said, \u201cI\u2019d bang her and ditch her, she\u2019s hot but not\u00a0a girlfriend,\u201d and that\u2019s so problematic.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> It\u2019s a classic double standard. He\u2019d never date\u00a0a stripper or prostitute but he frequents strip clubs and prostitutes.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> Has writing about your sex lives and using sexuality in your work affected people you dated?<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> I modeled for Richard Kern a bunch of times and\u00a0I remember when this one bondage photo came out, my ex-boyfriend was not happy at all. He shamed me so hard, like, \u201cthis makes me less attracted to you because everyone can see it.\u201d He was mad because it wasn\u2019t just for him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

K:<\/strong> I surround myself with highly intelligent, liberal guys and I wouldn\u2019t date someone who doesn\u2019t support what I do. I feel the problem is those who don\u2019t know me. Everyone knows I\u2019m a sex writer and have seen pictures of me naked, but most of them have never read anything I\u2019ve written. In a recent piece about me in the Sunday Times, the first paragraph\u2019s like, \u201cshe\u2019s peed on guys, had sex with a Hasidic Jew and been a dominatrix!\u201d I know it\u2019s all true but so is, \u201cshe wrote an in depth piece about transgendered oppression.\u201d They didn\u2019t add that because it\u2019s easier to just say I\u2019m a wild ho.<\/p>\n

\"Phoebe<\/a><\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> Have you seen Nymphomaniac? I met one of the actresses and she said all the hype was terrifying her parents so she just made them watch it and when they did, they understood it and were proud of her. The idea we have of things we don\u2019t know is always more extreme.<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> Nymphomaniac is a good example of a woman who\u2019s hypersexual and ashamed about it. She\u2019s telling her life story and feels so guilty. The guy she\u2019s talking to asks why, stressing that she just went after things she wanted and got them. She insists she hurt people along the way, which is true, but if the anecdote were, \u201cI\u2019ve been ruthless in my career and screwed people over but now I\u2019m successful,\u201d that narrative wouldn\u2019t have been so shameful.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t watch that because I feared it might send troubling messages and piss me off. Like, why is it that in GIRLS the only likeable characters are boys?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

P:<\/strong> Lena gets so much criticism. Last year some magazine wrote a headline, \u201cthe New Face of Feminism\u201d and under it was the cast of GIRLS. That\u2019s when a black blogger started #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen. I don\u2019t think she was blaming Lena Dunham but she was a part of it. What\u2019s interesting is it didn\u2019t turn into a huge fight. Everyone\u2019s response was really eloquent.<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> So it was about how women of colour are often excluded from feminism.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> They talk about class\u00a0as well. GIRLS didn\u2019t do anything wrong, but I felt like Lena started reacting to the pressures to make it more multicultural and when she did it became even more offensive. I don\u2019t think she should have been criticised in the first place, because she made the show bas ed on her life and about a very specific group of people.<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> It\u2019s almost worse when there\u2019s a fake multi-cultural situation. It often makes cari- catures of people.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> If you\u2019re making a sitcom\u00a0it should be diverse, but if you\u2019re trying to tell a real story that\u2019s going on it should be told as it is.<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> And it\u2019s a story about annoying, white, rich girls!<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> They\u2019re horrible characters and they\u2019re supposed to be.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> People should learn to step down rather than get defensive over something they don\u2019t know. Like when Femen\u2019s all, \u201cbe free, take your clothes off!\u201d I was always naked in Milan but nobody was going to kill me for it. You can\u2019t just tell someone to be free when you don\u2019t understand what freedom means to them.<\/p>\n

\n

P:<\/strong> Experience is valid. You can still bring that into critique, but essentially you can\u2019t tell someone that it doesn\u2019t feel a particular way to walk around in their shoes.<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> When people argue about whether something is offensive or racist, if the person experiencing it feels it\u2019s offensive, it is. There\u2019s no reason why people would want to create false oppression. Not everyone\u2019s struggle is the same. The struggle of a 25 year old white girl in America is not the same as a 25 year old girl of colour in America.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> A good example of the hashtag is, \u201cwhen piercings, tattoos and pink hair are on a white girl it\u2019s quirky, but on a black girl they\u2019re ghetto.\u201d<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> Another was, \u201cFemen gets to decide Muslim women\u2019s attire.\u201d<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> I respect all people but I don\u2019t respect religion. If your religion oppresses me or others, why should I? America\u2019s constitution was based on separation of church and state, so why are we all tiptoeing around Catholics and Mormons when their policies hurt me? When a pharmacist can deny me birth control because of some book he reads?<\/p>\n

\"Phoebe<\/a><\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> Respecting religion is tied into respecting people.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> But it affects everyone negatively. Most religions express the concept that women should cover up because men can\u2019t help themselves\u00a0otherwise. Isn\u2019t that insulting to men as well?<\/p>\n

\n
\n

P:<\/strong> If you look at rape culture and the idea of asking\u00a0for it, it\u2019s the same everywhere. Either you\u2019re showing flesh, or acting in an irresponsible way…<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> That\u2019s why there\u2019s nothing more punk than a slutty girl. It\u2019s the most rebellious thing a girl can do. Even Courtney Love said Miley was punk rock in a weird, sex way.<\/p>\n

P:<\/strong> Who wants to fuck Miley? She\u2019s obviously pretty and has an amazing body but I feel the way she\u2019s sexualized herself isn\u2019t to inspire desire. Like, you never heard boys wanting to screw Madonna,\u00a0which is partly why she\u2019s so powerful.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

T:<\/strong> Miley\u2019s not serving the male gaze. What she\u2019s doing is similar to what you do, what Molly Soda does by posting nudes, what Petra does with her photos. You can see Katy Perry shooting icing out of her tits, but she does it in an infantile way. The way men want us to be sexual: unintentional yet intentionally for their pleas- ure. I\u2019ve taken my clothes\u00a0off in every club in Milan,\u00a0not because it would attract attention from men, but the opposite. They were embarrassed for me and afraid of me. Men are confused by girls acting sexy for their own sake. Of course, when I did\u00a0the same thing at strip clubs, they loved it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Petra:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had so many weird confrontations with art boys because I feel I am one of those hot, often naked, non- submissive sexual powers and I\u2019m entering their little boys art club. They don\u2019t know what to do with me!<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> They\u2019re especially threatened by you because you\u2019re taking photos of naked girls and actually saying something by doing so. So many men are \u201cphotographers\u201d but all they do is bland black & whites of tits & ass. And they usually make it creepy.<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> When I was younger I would get in situations where\u00a0guys would take these photos and it escalates until you feel like you have to keep going further even if you don\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

T:<\/strong> All my shoots with hetero men ended in sexual harassment. Yes, everyone should see my butt but not everyone should touch it. Of course I\u2019d rather have a girl photograph me!<\/p>\n

K:<\/strong> You\u2019re stealing the men\u2019s jobs.<\/p>\n

\"Phoebe<\/a><\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> Speaking of which, the Internet\u2019s been accused of \u201ckilling subcultures,\u201d since everything can be found online, meaning nothing is exclusive. Do you think the new subculture is Internet\u00a0Girls? Like Petra, Molly Soda, Tavi, Slutever, etc.?<\/p>\n

\n
\n

P:<\/strong> I remember trekking to Brighton for Le Tigre and seeing JD had a moustache, which was a revelation at the time. But when you think how many people were listening to them or cared that she had a moustache, it\u2019s nothing compared to the amount of people who have seen Petra\u2019s pubic hair come out of her knickers! Your impact is massive, yet welcoming. The Internet invites participation while subcultures are elitist. Tumblr is grassroots.<\/p>\n

T:<\/strong> And most subcultures exclude women. In my experi- ence, you must be a girlfriend or groupie to be accepted\u00a0into a music scene. To be taken seriously, you have\u00a0to be \u201cone of the guys.\u201d You have to be sexless or strictly for sex. I read a great piece in Rookie about how music preferences and opinions of girls are considered irrelevant. Whatever teenage girls like is \u201csilly.\u201d But now we have girls speaking for themselves and creating their own audi- ences online and it\u2019s clear they\u2019re shaping our preferences, changing the way\u00a0we communicate on social media and influencing how we dress, talk and behave. They are cool.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

P:<\/strong> It\u2019s so easy to connect\u00a0on Tumblr with people who think the way you do. How is someone who doesn\u2019t know\u00a0how to approach academic text supposed to read the Second Sex? Now a teenage girl\u2019s blog can teach you as much.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

K:<\/strong> And you don\u2019t even need text! Sometimes things are better said without words, like Petra\u2019s work, which translates profound messages through images. I think new feminism is less about talking about what to change and more about just doing it. Like, I know Beyonc\u00e9 sampled that feminist speech and that\u2019s great but it\u2019s not as powerful as Rihanna\u2019s attitude. Just be a smart, brave, badass bitch.<\/p>\n

Petra:<\/strong> We don\u2019t have to wait to be accepted anymore.\u00a0In university everyone was\u00a0like, \u2018go to school, wait to graduate and then wait to get invited into your field\u2019. I didn\u2019t wait or ask. My whole career exists because I connected with other girls on the Internet. Tavi started Rookie on her own! That\u2019s how I did my collective art show. Like, \u2018I have no platform for this, so I\u2019m going to make it myself.\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Words:\u00a0<\/strong>Tea Hacic-Vlahovic<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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