From Dua Lipa to Tyler, The Creator – what have the stars written for your trip to Primavera Sound in 2022?
Every year we look to Barcelona’s Primavera Sound festival as the live music world’s bastion of hope. We literally don’t know a better spotlighting of all our favourite musicians, and as each line-up passes, things only get greater. This time around things are so cool, so colossal and so in demand that they’ve had to split the monumental offering over two weekends (and an entire week of extra inside gigs!) just so they could cram it all in. We might’ve had to miss out next month, looking at you Covid-19, but come on, where else are you gonna see M.I.A., Gorillaz and the Drain Gang on the same sunny weekend?
Seeing as we’re so spoilt for choice, what better way to determine who you see than with a horoscope? Folk who know more about compatibility than us, we’ve just sorted out all your clashing sets – and you are so welcome!
Aquarius – Megan Thee Stallion
EEEEE! Promises of new music are on the way from this Houston hottie, but before this you must find out what else makes you happy. The road to self-discovery might be a long one, yet, even so, there’s sure to be a few ass-shaking pit stops on the way. We can already see you getting the crowd hot, heavy and turning the damn party, so rest up Queen. This show will be a game-changer.
Pisces – Tyler, The Creator
Where the bloody hell have you been? No bother, no need for an explanation, self-care is everything. Your creativity is your best asset, always has been. You keep us all guessing, constantly intrigued by what’s really going on inside. We couldn’t even begin to dream of what you’ll be serving us in Barcelona, but we know it’s going to be totally killer. We better start bracing ourselves now!
Aries – The Strokes
A little bit iconic, you and your pals were kind of the be-all and end-all of early 00s indie and NY ‘cool’. Your art is timeless, well, most of it, spreading cheer across the world for the better part of two decades. And like a fine wine, you’re probably even better at doing it now than you ever were. Keep it simple, and all shall be fine…
Taurus – Disclosure
There’s more to you than meets the eye, that’s for sure. But with your fierce house concoctions and high-octane dance tunes, sunglasses will undoubtedly obscure your vision. You know all kinds of ins, outs and ways around a set, and will have the audience marching to your killer drum beats in a matter of seconds. We see some surprise guests in your future, preferably some iconic pop legends that would make the gays in the audience faint at their mere presence…
Gemini – Beach House
God, our love for you really is endless. We’re not sure how you keep continually reshaping the world of dream-pop and taking us to sonic paradises previously unimagined, but that’s okay. You keep those cards close to your chest, except for in Barcelona, we want to devour all your intelligence and haunting magic in one fell swoop. And if you’re planning on dropping some new tunes soon, maybe hurry up so you can soundtrack our summer? Just a thought.
Cancer – Sky Ferreira
Powerful, emotional, and just a downright icon, we were all a little speechless seeing this queen grace the line-up *queue joke about her delayed 2016 album Masochism*… Nonetheless, she’s sure to put on a cinematic performance that’ll make the years of silence oh-so-worth-it! We’re tearing up just thinking about it, a premonition for the history books.
Leo – Dua Lipa
Effortlessly iconic, we see the newfound gift of being able to dance in your future. Your current vibe is a twist on an iconic, disco ball-filled era of the past, shaken like a snowglobe in the fishbowl of the 21st century. And no matter what, you will ALWAYS look the part. We’re hoping for some more disses to the UK government for your headline performance… see you on the dancefloor girlie!
Virgo – A.G. Cook / Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Right, two quite different vibes here, but the thing that unites both of these powerhouses is their passion for experimentation. To peek inside their minds might leave you insane, like, who could possibly want to carry such a burden of musical greatness? Having created their own crazy world’s that exist light-years away from this mortal coil, there are no chartered flights to such territories, a live two-hour layover is about as good as it gets. So roll up early, get comfy, and just soak up the vibes baby!
Libra – Jessie Ware
What’s Your Pleasure? Is it making the sweetest dark-pop tunes on earth? Hosting a legendary podcast with your mum? Writing a cookbook? We don’t know – you do them all so well, whoever coined ‘master of none’ better start rethinking their choice of words. Besides making us feel ultra-powerful and sexy, your poptimistic spirit saved us from the pandemic, and will save us once more under the stars.
Scorpio – Jamie XX / Griff
Meteoric rises are aplenty here. You hold so much talent in just your thumbs that we’re surprised they aren’t heavy enough that you end up dragging them behind you. Your gift is that of the communicator, breaking things down via song into infinitely digestible magic. There’s a mix of secrecy and honesty there that gives you all of our trust, delighting us over and over and over again.
Sagittarius – 100 Gecs
We’re ready for our world to be rocked, and really, who else is gonna do it like you guys? You see things differently, as if through x-ray specs, or a made-up language only you hold the key to. We don’t mistake your otherworldliness, and instead embrace it wholeheartedly. May your restless wandering take you someplace great, because we’ll be following even if it takes us off a cliff. We kind of hope it doesn’t, though…
Capricorn – Celeste
Amongst the chaos, you are the cloud of sobering emotion that makes sense of our surroundings. You ground us like an angry parent whose kids have just scribbled on the walls. None of this fakeness, you’re about talent, living in the moment, and creating a mood so uniquely your own that no one else can permeate the bubble. We’re ready to go through all the motions with you!