Wonderland.

NEW NOISE: SELF ESTEEM

A new breakup anthem from the singer who wants you to feel strong and defiant.

Self Esteem – aka Rebecca Lucy Taylor, of Sheffield-grown multi-instrumentalist duo Slow Club – is feeling herself.

Witty and self-assured, her high-energy pop tunes inspire the kind of unshakeable confidence that’s seen Rebecca make her mark as a solo artist in her own right.

Her new track “Rollout” glorifies everything a breakup anthem should: self-doubt, self-affirmation, and the frantic confusion of oscillating between the two. And in its new video: constant dancing, texts from friends, a blood red power suit.

“In my last relationship, I used to joke that I couldn’t write about her, because we never had any problems,” she explains, “and then one day she just left, and I was, like: ‘Shit.’ But then I was also so happy in a really sadistic way, because I had something to write about. I just went straight in and had this idea for Rollout.”

We caught up to chat about her new video, upcoming tour, Netflix faves and what’s to come…

What’s ‘Rollout’ all about?
It’s a simple breakup song really. I felt battered and beaten by yet another breakup – but I also felt strong and like I had enough strength for another one. Maybe. We’ll see…

What inspired you to write the song?
At the time of the breakup I was in a show, and people were sending me flowers. Day after day, these lovely bouquets were coming to the dressing room, but they were never from my girlfriend. The song came from a weird feeling being surrounded by love and kindness, but wanting it to so badly to be from the one person who couldn’t give me that.

Do you often write from personal experience?
Sadly, yeah, pretty much always. Sometimes I collate feelings from different things and times, though. The chorus of Rollout is actually about another time in my life, but I’m basically always swimming in lines or imagery of my constant horrible feelings. My music is where they find a place to be ordered.

How would you describe its sound?
In the studio, we realised this sounds like the comeback single Britney should have done.

How do you want people to feel when they listen to it?
Strong. Defiant. I want people to bound up the escalators to my music.

What’s the reception been like so far?
Pretty good! I feel so liberated and creatively satisfied seeing the audience. There are Slow Club fans, but I’m noticing lots of new fans, which makes me thrilled. There was a time I didn’t dare do this. Now look at how carried away I’m getting!

How did you come up with the concept for the video?
My friend and collaborator Piers Dennis came on board to direct. I have directed my own videos and done work for other artists but I felt it was time to move forward as a performer and focus there. Also, I began to feel like I was potentially inhibiting the art that could be made by being the overseeing all consuming boss man, I missed collaboration. I love Piers and his work, he also knows me incredibly well and if Self Esteem was ever going to connect and work I couldn’t hide behind tropes anymore. I had to be authentically me. Also, I spent 10 years making music videos with the most horrific burning desire to do choreography and not being allowed to, so here we are, I suppose.

Why did you choose the slogan t-shirts?
I like communicating something of myself quickly. Like football shirts are a way to say “this is me, I’m from here, or have some connection to here,” the t-shirts in the video are an extension of my art. They are also a way of communicating what I’m feeling quickly, almost quicker than the music. I have plans for there to be many many Self Esteem t-shirts. The live shirts say ‘squirt isn’t pee’, but they were worried about getting the video on Sunday Brunch etc, so I had to stand those ones down for the video shoot.

Can we expect any new music soon?
There’s fucking loads of it. I’m sat on it like a big hen keeping it warm with my fat arse. The album is coming out next year and I think there will be another single this year. It’s all go and I’m loving it.

What else have you got coming up?
I’m doing a few gigs in November and December in the UK, and I’m working on an exhibition that will go up the week of the album release. I’m also watching Making A Murderer 2, and vaping…

Catch Self Esteem on her UK tour, from 16th November to 4th December.

Photography
Charlotte Patmore
Words
Rosie Byers