How to avoid the awkward lovelife questions at home this Christmas.
There are lots of things we all love about Christmas. Mulled wine, debating whether or not East 17’s Christmas song is really a Christmas song (it defo is, btw), crying at films that don’t deserve to be cried at, mulled wine – the list goes on…
But, there are also some things we don’t love about Christmas. Brussel sprouts, people saying East 17 didn’t make the best Christmas song in history (they did), and, of course, relatives’ awkward lovelife questions over the dinner table. Here’s how to avoid them:
Get a tattoo. That’ll outdo your lovelife in the bid for awkward convo starter.
Tell everyone you’re WAAAY too busy at work to think about dating and that’s why you’re single. No-one ever wants to get too deep into that conversation.
Tell me more about admin.
Set fire to someone’s Christmas hat and claim you thought they were a Christmas pudding.
Download the biggest dating app in the world and speed-swipe your way to a new girlfriend/boyfriend in time for Christmas.
Buy someone a puppy as a Christmas gift, because everyone loses their shit when there’s a dog.
Get as drunk as possible early on so that people give up on coherent conversation with you.
*NB this only works if other family members aren’t equally as drunk.
Bring a framed picture of Ryan Gosling and sit him on an empty seat next to you. Whenever someone tries to sit at that seat, be sure to loudly remind them that the seat is already taken by your soulmate.
Shut your eyes on Christmas eve, hibernate and wait for it all to blow over.
I can’t hear you if I’m sleeping.
Srsly though, Badoo is your best hope of bagging a date in time for the big day. If not, setting fire to your nan’s Christmas hat is sure to create enough of a diversion to get you out of questions like “wouldn’t you like to try not being single?”… “do you not meet anyone nice at work?”.