Wonderland.

GLORIA’S VS WUT? CLUB – TOP 10 LOOKS

Gloria’s returns to XOYO tonight and they’ve teamed up with another one our favourite nights WUT? Club. Obviously we’ve been planning our outfits for weeks but if you’re in need of some last minute style advice we’ve selected the 10 of the finest looks.

1) Conan The Barbarian-hun
Tin foil isn’t just a great way of preventing the government from controlling your mind – it’s also the perfect material for a fab two piece.

2) Werking 9-5

After clocking off some people head straight to Gloria’s. By day this chap is a living statue on the Southbank. He paid for his first vodka lemonade with the change that had been thrown at him by tourists. The guys on the bar weren’t too pleased.

3) Piles

If in doubt just pile loads of things on your head. Nobody will notice that you’re still wearing your leotard from this morning’s Zumba class.

4) Quality Chic

Another foil ensemble. This one was inspired by everyone’s favourite Christmas confectionery, Quality Street. Just don’t come dressed as the Coconut Eclair. Nobody likes the Coconut Eclair

5) Sweet sweet fan-tasy baby

Beloved by Geisha and grandmas the world over, a fan is the ultimate Gloria’s accessory. What with all the dancing, it can get pretty sweaty inside XOYO and moist forehead is never a good look.

6) Pole Position

If you’ve worked as hard as we have on your outfit then you’re going to want to be seen. Put those school gym classes to good use and scale that pole. Sadly nobody helped this guy down and he’s been up there for a few months.

7) Barely There

Really struggling to pick an outfit? Wear nothing. Just make allowances for shrinkage because it can get chilly in September and be mindful if you choose to do any squats.

8) The Empi-her Strikes Back

The force is strong in this one. It’s Princess Leia at a rave. She broke free of Jabba The Hutt and raided Cyber Dog. Camden by way of Alderaan.

9) Mad Maxi Dress

Two huns enter, one hun leaves. If things get a bit rowdy at Gloria’s we’ve heard a rumour that in a back room is a Thunderdome-esque set-up.

10) Divine Inspiration

Divine has inspired many a queen but we’d prefer it if you kept it to your eyebrows. We don’t want anybody consuming bowl movement’s from the pavement outside. Stick to the kebabs.