Wonderland.

FREAKUM DRESS WATCH: THE VMA’S

From Willow and Rhi Rhi to…Miley, we  track the best and worst of the VMA’s.

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Yes! The five looks that, in the words of Beyoncé;

“Every woman got one / Shut it down when the time’s come / Pull out the big gun, and put your freakum dress on”

You may have been wondering WHERE the official Wonderland list of hot honeys was, but you know what we are on DEADLINE and feeling a little STRESSED!

Even the greatest stress however could not stop us from casting our eyes over the looks at the MTV Video Music Awards (In case you thought VMA stood for ‘Very magnificent aliens’…wait maybe it does stand for that).

Without further ado!

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Every year everyone tries to out fashion each other with various looks, but this is KILLER – both naked AND turban! Two of our favourite things.

The best thing about Mz Erin Wasson’s look is the very high panties, matched with her deadly serious facial expression. Respect girl, respect.

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I am so sick of hearing about everyone’s beauty secrets! From now on, space masks are the one and only look. And those gloves – perfect for concealing old hands.

On another note, do you ever find Daft Punk’s scary masks kind of sexy? Like imagine going on a date with that. Kind of hot.

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Whatever you feel about Mz Miley’s twerk-a-thon, (thong?), vintage Dolce is bringing it! That bejewelled garter is giving me LYFE!

Miley’s baby bunches are also serving it to me… a very magnificent alien touch.

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Willow Smith’s hair is giving me EVERYTHING! And her girlfriend is so cute! Oh no wait it’s her brother. Gorge anyway.

If only our teenage years had looked like this.

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Just when you think you’ve seen all the looks – NO! La RiRi sneaks in the back door and puts all those other women to shame in just a vest!

Rihanna doesn’t even NEED a gown to steal all the attention, she just needs her own bad self and a well practiced side eye.

And obviously her side kick Melissa. Aka MeMe.

If a mere mortal (you or I) were delivered a side eye of this strength our flesh would MELT FROM OUR BONES! Luckily Miley had on latex knickers which deflected the death rays.

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Rihanna wins best dressed once again. WITHOUT EVEN WEARING A FREAKUM DRESS!

Well done Rihanna.

Words: Jack Sunnucks (Follow Jack on twitter @jacksunnucks)

FREAKUM DRESS WATCH: THE VMA’S

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