This is our story. Also, she tells us about that time Karl Lagerfeld said she’d never get laid.

Have you ever been to a frat house rager with Courtney Love? We have. And by frat house, we mean the massive Gene Autry pad at the Parker Palm Springs. But instead of bros and beer pong, there was an overflowing open bar and the creme de le creme of downtown New Yorkers, like nightlife icon Sophia Lamar and Saint Laurent muse Liza Thorn. Twas the second weekend of Coachella, and NJOY and Courtney Love hosted the intimate affair.

At one climatic point, she hopped up on a coffee table to enthusiastically ask the attendees to gather around as she thanked all for coming, tossed out NJOYs and ended with a “I hope I play Coachella next year!” in that raspy/immaculate voice (yes, please). Love then posed it up for pictures with guests, where she did the unexpected – aka grabbing several gay men’s crotches (including ours) for the sea of iPhone flashes to, in her words, “see if I can turn any of you straight!” Just let us know the time and the place and we’ll totally put a ring on it, Courtney.

We spoke to her about getting laid in Miu Miu and how Steven Meisel inspired her to get plastic surgery.

Any more deets on your clothing line? You tweeted a few photos of wearing the clothes complete with cigs and rose bouquets!

Someone at Conde Nast described it as “the perfect wardrobe for a courtesan slash rockstar”. You can’t buy it anywhere yet because I don’t have a licensing deal and because they’re so over the top. I’m making 12 new pieces for this capsule collection, so there’s pieces that everyone can wear – not just Sky Ferreira and Liza Thorn. The thing is, I’m now too old to wear them. I’m 48 years old. And I will tell you who told me that… Karl Lagerfeld. He said, “Why are you in a tutu, Courtney?” And I said, “Because I have a new record out and this is my Lady Gaga look!” And he said, “You’re never gonna get laid in a tutu.” And I looked at my navy Miu Miu, and realized he was right; I started wearing navy. Like that, I started getting laid.

So, you’ve done shoots with some of the greatest. Tell us a wild on-set story!

I remember doing a photoshoot with Steven Meisel, who said the most amazing thing: “I can tell if a model is lying about her age by the collagen in her calves.” We were looking at the tabloids and there were pictures of stars with this little wrinkle that all women and all men have under their arm.

So, the next time I went to my dermatologist, I’m like “Can you put collagen in that wrinkle?” [laughs] So he put collagen in but the wrinkle didn’t go away because… The wrinkle is a part of the human body. But I wanted to see if I could defeat the Meisel standard of beauty and excellence. Speaking of [Stevens in fashion], tomorrow I’m gonna go to the Steven Klein studio and we’re doing a very secret project, so I’m very excited about that.

What’s your relationship like with Klein? And can you let us in on the secret… just a bit?

I’ve never heard Steven gossip at all; I’ve never heard him say something negative about another person. I’m gonna do this online thing with him and we’re gonna make into a video for one of my new songs.Then for the ‘California’ video [for her new song], I really want [David] LaChapelle to do ‘California’, but even for me, he won’t get out of bed for less than a hundred grand…

Speaking of LaChapelle, you teamed up with him for an art show, Mentoring Courtney Love: David LaChapelle & Courtney Love…

When I can’t write a song, I have to do something, so I have all of these paintings and drawings. At my show ‘And She’s Not Even Pretty’ [which took place in New York last spring], Schnabel came, my friends from MoMa came… I sold a lot but it wasn’t like Bob Dylan crazy, 120,000 grand crazy. But I put a lot into them.

Since we last spoke, your NJOY webisode came out and a lot of people have questioned you getting involved with an e-cigarette brand…

I believe in the product and I don’t align myself with anything that I don’t believe in. You know, I’ve suffered from it financially, but that’s my standards – I’m not letting them fall. I’d rather lay on my stained-ass couch that Mario fucking Testino photographed. I’m just not letting my standards down – it’s just not gonna happen in this life or the next.

Words and images: Alex Catarinella