America’s Got Talent have just revealed that controversial radio personality Howard Stern has been enlisted as newbie judge. True to form, he has already managed to offend one male stripper, telling him he has “a small package and man boobs”. From the weird, wonderful, brilliant and outright tragic, both America’s Got Talent and Britain’s Got Talent showcase the country’s best and worst “talents” (out of thousands of applicants, apparently the best Britain has to offer in 2012 is Pudsey the Dancing Dog – scoff). There’s no denying both shows offer us entertainment in abundance, with the likes of Susan Boyle and genuine talent such as Landau Eugene Murphy, winner of last years AGT. But it also brings the freaks, and the sometimes verging on unwell, into the public domain. Wonderland charts the best and worst auditions from either atrocity exhibitions.

The Best:

Probably one the best and funniest auditions in Britain’s Got Talent history. Boyle’s aspirations of becoming as famous as Elaine Page and cringe-worthy hip thrusting made her endearing from the get go. Boyle’s 2009 audition of Les Miserables’ “I Dream a Dream”, became an instant internet sensation – its view rate currently stands at a gobsmacking 92,222,375.

America’s younger, cuter Susan Boyle would have to be Jackie Evancho. The ten year old amazed the judges with her powerful operatic voice in 2010. Now somewhat of an opera sensation in America, she has released two albums and appeared in High School Musical (duh).

When car washer Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. auditioned on AGT he had a big dream, quite big teeth, and a very big voice. His rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” won over the judges and lamped him the 2011 winner’s prize.


Talent shows have that funny effect of making people think they have what it takes to sing, dance, and generally parade themselves in front of a nation’s people. Unfortunately, more often than not their audition doesn’t have the desired effect. Take a look at Eugene, the librarian who fancies himself as “…the white night on the stalion of poetry”.

Probably one of the most pointless auditions on America’s Got Talent was last year’s Mr Splash. His act was essentially belly flopping into a paddling pool. He could have died, but still, why? As one YouTube comment puts it: “this is not talent…this is stupid as fuck”. We couldn’t agree more, sir.

Candy and Cat make up Double Take, two angry timbrel players (not tambourines) who auditioned on Britian’s show in 2010. For those who don’t know what a timbrel is, it’s basically a large tambourine with tinsel hanging from it. Not only do the duo play a rather pointless instrument, they aren’t particularly good at it either. It all makes for rather sad viewing…

Words: Eleanor Mackay